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To The Parent Who Doesn’t Have Much Help

 

You’re the parent who carries a lot on his shoulders.

The one that his partner is busy, absent, or little involved.

The one whose family is distant, or burned the bridges long ago.

The one that most of the friends left as soon as your child entered your life.

You hit a wall at dinner, or hidden in your room. For a moment, you did not know how to hold yourself together. Your tears started to flow, carrying with them your daily tension.

Sometimes, it boils in you, your thoughts going at full speed, jostling one another, and you have the impression of having a black cloud over your head, darkening your family life.

This moment, when it happens to you, live it the best that you can, to make you feel a little better. Then let it pass to get clear ideas again.

Remember that as difficult as it is, one thing is certain: it will pass.

Once the storm has gone away, first, I would love for you to see how strong you are.

That you really see how day after day you hold down the fort, sustained by the strength of your love. That you do what you have to do, the best you can at that moment. How you really move things around to get there, and the positive difference you make in the lives of those you love.

Realize that with such strength you could forge your destiny the way you want.

I wish you could see the abundance around you, all that you already have.

The chance you have of living with your child, or your children. Enough food. A country where it is generally good to live, perhaps. Make a mental count of everything that is good in your life.

Keep your heart open to the gifts that are already there. It will save you from getting bitter.

Now that you surely feel lighter, let’s get back to the situation that made you freak out (surely with reason).

Try to find the “Whys”.

Why did you really went over the edge? Is it really for the spilled glass of water? Or was it the last drop that made it overflow and it was rather fatigue that prevailed?

Think of how you could do even better if it happened again. Think of how you could prevent it from happening again.

Finally, when you have exhausted all that you could do and you still have trouble with your situation, do not stay there, to avoid turning in circles and living in a perpetual sadness.

Think about what you could change in your daily life, and what you really want, if you had a choice. (Because if you think about it, you always have a choice, like changing your attitude first.)

Get a paper, and scribble the ideas that come to you, until you come up with effective solutions in the short and long term to change everything that peeves you. Take all the time you need, but do it, you’re worth the effort. Just be careful not to make drastic changes in a hurry, which will need to be well ripened, pros and cons weighed, before being adopted.

You have an advantage, to have arrived “at the end of everything”. Use the energy that is boiling in you to put your positive changes in place and have a better tomorrow.

Realize that you are the one who has his destiny in his hands and can transform it.

You can do it!

Because really, you’re good, you’re strong, you’re capable, beautiful parent.

 

If you liked it, thanks for sharing! Who knows, a parent around you may need it right now…

 

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Marie-Eve Boudreault

Marie-Eve Boudreault is a mom of 4 awesome kids and the founder of This Parenting Thing. Putting to good use her bachelor's degree in sociology and her passion about all-things parenting, she is a parenting blogger since 2008 and a caring parenting coach. She's actually working on the ultimate parenting course. Contact
her
to start creating the family life you dream of.
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